SCIENTIFIC THOUGHT:

What if eating smoked meats and drinking LOTS OF BEER cured cancer? Here’s how: you slather the smoked meats in those nanobots scientists keep talking about - you know - the microscopic robots that enter your bloodstream and hunt down and eliminate cancerous cells. Right? Then the LOTS OF BEER is for washing it down and catching a buzz and celebrating cuz you just got cured of cancer by eating delicious smoked fucking meats!

Oh, and kids in school, just as a little motivator…. I was terrible at science in school and also used to jerk off into library books and hallway water fountains between classes, so, keep at it, and genius ideas like this may come to you too!