So I’m in Los Angeles visiting a friend, and I went to the Mac store today to pick up my million dollar phone that was in for repairs (I dropped it into a turtle pond when I was jerking off). Anyway, they said “make an appointment online.” Well, I fucking couldn’t, cuz the item that I would have been able to make the appointment on was broken. Fuck! So don’t come in! Or, come in ANGRY BECAUSE THERE’S NO PHONE APPOINTMENTS!!! Well, because I’m a mature human being-bear I went OUT OF MY WAY and used my FUCKING FRIEND’S computer to make the appointment at the Genius Bar! Yes! I’ll be meeting with a Genius! I had an appointment at 12:30 at the Beverly Center. God bless me and the Genius! So, they said in the email, “just find someone with a blue shirt in the Apple Store and they’ll be happy to help you.”

I walk into this Beverly Center place, and all of the blue shirt people are helping other customers (and trust me, I’m spinning around looking, like for a newly vacated parking space in a full DQ lot!) but all the people are busy. So, I headed to headquarters -   the Genius Bar - still all the blue shirts are busy. So I wait and look for prey like the wild animal I am…. nothing…then, I see by the entrance of the store a little blue shirt guy that kind of looks like me, except with a more WOLVERINE…. as a matter of fact, aggressively FROM THE X-MEN MOVIE WOLVERINE-HAIR-AND-BEARD except small, like 5’2”, and I see him cross the store all the way to me, so as he passes by I say, “Hey, I’m here to pick up my phone. It’s done being repaired. The Apple internet told me to just greet a person with a blue shirt in the store—-” BOOM! BOOM! MINI WOLVERINE was NOT interested in helping me (almost no eye contact until the end of my question) He said, with a grave facial expression, “find someone in a blue shirt, and they will be happy to help you”…. and then he disappeared behind a back-Mac door.

Well, of course Mini Mac Wolverine was wearing a blue shirt, but was obviously busy with defeating Magneto.

Just want to say, thanks MiniMacWolverine at the Beverly Center, you’re living in the real world.