I WORK OUT, YOU WORK OUT
Once again baked with a new TV show idea…. Okay, the original title was, “I work out in jeans, you work out in jeans,” but it’s just too long of a title, plus let’s save the jeans for episode three or four (the same episode where sunglasses are worn while bench-pressing.) I’m getting ahead of myself here…. Look, every AWESOME AMERICAN is either aware of, or belongs to a gym, right? The gym is America’s sweaty forum for AGGRESSIVE MUSCLE COMMERCE and ANXIOUS PREPARATION FOR THREATENING FUTURE EVENTS. A place where responsible AWESOME AMERICANS discuss the ways in which their awesome muscle power will be dispensed in the inevitable event of a natural disaster or sudden invasion from some Asian country: what they would lift in an earthquake, punch during a tornado, KICK IN A HURRICANE?!!! How many Asians they will bench-press into surrender. And then, they all laugh a hardy AWESOME AMERICAN GYM LAUGH at how prepared they are, and how non-awesome Americans like scientists and Ear Nose and Throat doctors (and invading Asians) will be totally unprepared for these events and be somewhere, trapped, skinny and crying. In the opening scene, I envision BIG CONFIDENT CALVES strutting from one end of the gym to the other, and then, oh no, passing bigger and therefore more confident calves. A look is exchanged, the lesser calves are threatened, they shrink in the acknowledgement of MORE CONFIDENT LOWER REAR LEG MUSCULATURE. You see, these are the characters, they are defined by their calves: we will never see these characters wearing anything below the knee, objects in high places tremble at their approach…..I’m so baked.
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