FANCY GENTLEMEN OF YORE WITH PORNO DICKS IN THEIR FACES
Just like the riots that erupted after the debut of Debussy’s “The Rite Of Spring” because the world wasn’t ready for such artistic brilliance, the series of works I am about to present may be way ahead of its time. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first piece in a series I am calling “Fancy Gentlemen Of Yore With Porno Dicks In Their Faces.”
Fans of FINE ART get excited! I have been working on a series of “works” over the last few months, and I am planning to unveil them right here on my blog! Stay tuned! Oh, and OTHER ARTISTS, pack up your shit, this is gonna be the last art the world will ever need.
I’m sure you’ve heard this story about the guy using a Teddy Bear to masturbate in public. Well, in any other situation I would blame the guy, but I know the bear he used and he’s a total scumbag. That innocent, non-crazy man was FRAMED! I mean look at his photo, he’s probably a family man with a mid-level management job at Lockheed-Martin or something. Trust me, the bear is to blame here, his name is “Jizzly Bear” for godsakes! (I would just like to say in Jizzly Bear’s defense, he was molested by Teddy Fuxpin and “Balown” by Baloo from “The jungle Book” as a cub.)
I’m sorry, I can’t let my hatred of the horrible Howie Mandel go.
This is how terrible Howie Mandel is… People have been shitting on him for thirty years. The above link is an SCTV sketch from the early 80’s. It’s not funny, except for 3:30 in when Martin Short comes out as Howie Soozloff “The Master of Improv.” (He’s the one with the giant white “hand bag”). Basically, watch Martin Short take a giant dump on the super-untalented Howie “Fuckface” Mandel THIRTY FUCKING YEARS AGO!!!
(Sorry the quality isn’t great and sorry the rest of the sketch sucks.)